So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
