i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
