I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
