I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
