Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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