What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
