I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
