a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
