I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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