she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
