That's when you crack a 10am beer
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
