I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
