The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
