she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
there is glitter all over my balls
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
