Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
