So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
