FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
