the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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