And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
