theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
