I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
