When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
