Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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