It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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