Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
