Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
