Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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