Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
