he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
