I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
