im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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