Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
