im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
