three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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