"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
