Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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