Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
