I bet he comes in French.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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