Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
