I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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