just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
