True but thats because hes a fetus.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
