i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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