im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
