I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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