whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
