I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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