Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
