Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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