i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
