And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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