My room smells like vodka and shame
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
