Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
