do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
