what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
