They should really pass out barf bags in church
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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