I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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