Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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