She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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