no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
