You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
