Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
