I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
