The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
