I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
